The seven core values shaping my year ahead
As I reassess my values, I realize that if I’m not constantly reminding myself of what’s important, I tend to forget. Sometimes, I want something so badly that I blind myself to the signs — even if it’s a big red flashing sign that says, “This is NOT for you,” and even when the sign is accompanied by a loud siren. I just look the other way, more focused on achieving what I think I want or what feels most comfortable, whether it’s a potential relationship, a business partnership, a career path, or other decisions, like my food choices.
I feel that you have to be hyper-present, so grounded in the moment as it unfolds to live with integrity, and be aligned with your core values.
Is it part of our DNA to forget, to be so distracted all the time that we miss our exit or the opportunity that is right in front of us?
My attention is in constant flux, moving from one thing to the next — If I’m not mindful, I get lost. That’s why it’s essential to take the time to reflect and reiterate what truly matters. By doing this, we can consciously decide where we place our attention, what we allow into our lives, and how we live.
The choices we make and what we project into the world are reflected back to us.
For me, it’s time to open my eyes and remind myself of my values. I’ve realized that lately, I may have been blinded — or maybe I didn’t want to see the truth about the people and circumstances I’ve attracted. So, I think it’s time to reassess, clear my vision, and narrow my focus on the most essential values. Then, I’ll see what happens when I send that energy out into the universe — essentialism at its finest.
Narrowing down what truly matters has been a challenge, of course. I could probably list 20 core values that I think should guide my life, but I want to be focused. I believe seven core values really cover everything, although I’ve combined a few, so I hope you’ll forgive me.
This exercise has been meaningful, and I highly recommend it. It’s a first step in setting the direction for our lives, helping us align with what truly matters. We need to remind ourselves to allow the road to take us where it may but have an intention to align with these values. In other words, let’s not be so hard on ourselves.
It took me a while, but I’ve identified seven central values to guide my life, and I’d like to focus on them this year. There is no particular order; some are more important this year than others. I think these are central for me. However, I do believe that in some years, the focus is stronger on some values than others, depending on what’s going on in our lives.
These values aren’t just aspirations for how I want to live. They are qualities I want to embody and attract in others — whether in personal relationships, professional collaborations, or as a single mother raising my son.
Some values, like being nonjudgmental or open, have been particularly challenging for me this year. So, I’m focusing on those with extra intention. I understand everyone is on their own journey, and I remind myself of that daily.
These values may not align with everyone. Our lives are always changing and evolving, and the values we prioritize can shift over time.
So, as of this moment, the following seven values feel essential to how I want to live and the energy I want to bring into the world.
Integrity and Authenticity
I often think about integrity and authenticity, and I’ve realized that if we aren’t being authentic, we can’t really act with integrity. Integrity is about being honest, ethical, and true to our word and ourselves. But how can we do that if we don’t know what’s actually important to us? We can only understand that if we’re being authentic, which means taking time to go inward and understand ourselves. What’s important to us? What’s our truth? Our feelings and thoughts are always fluctuating, but at our core, we have an inner truth or essence that transcends these fluctuations. It’s the part of us that holds our values, beliefs, and fundamental sense of who we are. We need to live from that truth to act with integrity.
Integrity and authenticity are deeply connected. When we live authentically, we are capable of living in integrity. This, in turn, helps us build mutually respectful relationships because we’re being honest with others and true to ourselves. When we’re authentic, we’re not only honest but also respectful, both to ourselves and others.
Accountability
Accountability means taking complete responsibility for my actions, choices, and feelings — without blaming others. It’s easy to slip into a victim mentality and blame external circumstances for how we feel or behave, but we can influence how we experience our circumstances and respond to them.
We can shift our perspective, choose to act with integrity, and make mindful decisions rather than reacting impulsively. These values work together in beautiful harmony.
Freedom
Freedom, for me, is about independence and autonomy — not just for myself, but for others too. Over time, I’ve learned that if I truly value freedom, I must also give it to others by letting go of control.
It’s about creating space for people to be themselves, make their own choices, while maintaining my own independence.
Gratitude
Gratitude helps me find appreciation for what I have in the present moment instead of what I don’t. There’s a powerful quote by Sam Harris, who said “There are at least a billion people on earth at this moment who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you”.
Practicing gratitude reminds me that happiness is here and now and not in chasing what I don’t have. It’s essential for my well-being, and I truly believe it’s a critical value if I want to experience joy.
Inner Stillness
Inner stillness has been transformative for me. I didn’t realize how deeply essential quiet time alone was for me until a few years ago.
I grew up in a culture that emphasized socializing, having lots of friends, and being constantly busy. But for me, I need time to connect with myself. Carving out moments of stillness has been life-changing. These quiet moments help me gain clarity and connect to my inner truth, they are fundamental for my well-being and help me live with more authenticity and integrity.
Mindfulness, Essentialism, and Focus
This is a big one! We live in a world filled with wonderful distractions, and it can be hard to focus. Mindfulness is about being aware of where I place my attention.
Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”
This means that mindfulness isn’t just about clearing the mind but about observing the mind, emotions, and environment without getting entangled in them. When I practice mindfulness, I am able to observe my thoughts and feelings as they come without reacting impulsively to the stories they tell, which shifts my focus and attention away from what’s not essential.
When I don’t judge my thoughts or feelings, I don’t create unnecessary mental drama. I don’t get caught in a cycle of self-criticism or the need to “fix” something temporary. This makes it easier to stay grounded in my values and intentions.
Mindfulness supports essentialism by helping me focus on my core values. I can distinguish between what is essential and what is just a distraction. Mindfulness empowers me with clarity and keeps me intentional, guiding me to make decisions that are authentic and of integrity.
Openness, Non-judgment, and Compassion
Each of us is on a unique journey, making our perspectives immeasurable and diverse. This contrast makes life interesting and guides us toward what feels most authentic and aligned.
Remaining open to new ideas, people, perspectives, and experiences is something I strive for and remembering that life is impermanent, and that people and circumstances are always changing, helps me stay open, nonjudgmental, and compassionate.
This awareness allows me to easily embrace the diversity of perspectives and ever-changing nature of our existence. This loosens the rigid perspectives I often cling to and allows me to release judgment which opens the door to kindness, compassion, and love.
The Symphony
These core values complement each other, like instruments in a symphony, each playing its part to create something impactful.
By staying connected to what’s essential, we can create a framework that guides us and provides clarity and balance when we need it most.
I plan to set intentions based on these values and have put them in the reminders app on my phone as a cue to stay mindful.
What values feel essential for you?
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luminyou 