archives
-
The Fears Hidden Inside Ordinary Moments
From a small notebook and a hesitant hand My son just left for school, and I’m sitting down to write after spending about half an hour paralyzed. Not for lack of topics to write about, but more due to the overwhelming options before me regarding where to write. After purchasing several new notebooks and still waiting…
-
Why All the Right Tools Couldn’t Unlock My Automatic Behaviors
Your mind knows. Your body didn’t get the memo. There are moments that seem insignificant on the surface but don’t feel small at all. Someone texts me, “Can we talk?” with no context. I send a text, and it just sits there. No response. I meet someone, and they don’t get in touch after the…
-
I Don’t Even Like Him. And Yet Here I Am.
On familiar patterns, loneliness, and the quiet work of choosing yourself I sit in my reading chair, covered in blankets with the AC on full blast. My eyes ache from lack of sleep. Somewhere in the near distance, alarms. Rockets overhead. The turbulence of the world has moved closer to home than I would like — canceled flights…
-
When You Can’t See More Than Two Steps Ahead
On openness, control, and what happens when the tools you trust stop working I sit and ponder this strange, strange life — one where things are uncertain, and we can’t see more than two steps ahead. We can’t determine whether what is unfolding in our lives is good or bad. But having faith that it’s all for the…
-
Everyone Is Out to Get Me (And Other Things I Tell Myself)
On fear, the story, and the pause that changes everything. I take a deep breath. That’s the practice, especially when I notice the pattern of toxic thinking playing quietly in the background — the kind that sounds like everyone is out to get me. I’ll be honest. I often play out scenarios in my mind that make…
luminyou 