Before every change, there is chaos — or at least that’s what I’ve experienced.

Sometimes it’s simple — the small chaos we create when we’re searching for a better fit. We start downloading different apps, switching routines, and changing the way we eat. We empty out the fridge and all the cabinets, we start decluttering the closet, and suddenly we’re rethinking everything else — our habits, our direction, even our life choices.

And then there are the deeper kinds of chaos — the ones that shake your foundation. A divorce. An illness. The loss of a loved one. The ending of a dream, a business, or a home.

Those moments strip you bare.

Whatever the case, there’s a dissolution of what was familiar so something new can be built — a version of yourself that’s more aligned for the moment.

We live in a world of endless choices, and we won’t know what truly fits until we’re honest about what’s not working and clear about what we really want.

Because it’s not always about achievement. It’s about alignment.

That shift can be physical or energetic.

Things fall apart so we can evolve: our bodies, our minds, our direction.

Nothing lasts forever in this impermanent world — and that’s actually beautiful. It means we get to reinvent ourselves, refine our vision, and see what really matters now, because what mattered then often doesn’t anymore.

Even when the chaos isn’t dramatic — no divorce, no crisis — there’s still that quiet dissolving of who we thought we were. We let go of the version of ourselves we once identified with, only to discover that we’re something else entirely.

And that’s the contrast that leads to transformation — the evolution of our lives.

Sometimes we have to see, smell, and touch the bottom to rise.

But the bottom isn’t meaningless; it’s a lived experience that gives rise to clarity. Without walking through the darkness, we wouldn’t know where the light is.

I’ve come to recognize that pattern in every turning point of my life — that space between what’s dissolving and what’s trying to emerge. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and often disguised as failure.

I start to think about my health, my work, my habits, my relationships — everything. And when I try to improve them all at once, I end up feeling paralyzed.

It’s as if the things that used to work suddenly stop working. The structure, the rhythm, even the routines that once made sense — they start to fall apart.

Sometimes I realize they weren’t even working to begin with. Maybe they were just helping me cope, protect myself, or survive a period of emotional trauma.

If you’ve ever felt that way — uncertain, overwhelmed, or stuck between who you were and who you’re becoming — this is for you.

The Intersection

Right now, I’m in the middle of a change. This time, it’s physical — about my health, my body, my weight.

I was carrying around ten extra pounds, which to some people might not be a lot, but to me, it was draining my energy, crippling me, and pulling me into a deep depression.

It began with a spark.

A friend told me she’d lost twenty pounds. She said she’d been working out for a while, but nothing truly changed until she started eating differently.

When she said that, something clicked. It was like a light turned on inside me — and I heard a quiet whisper in my mind: try.

I didn’t even realize I’d been standing at an intersection until that moment.

The road I was on had been getting darker for a while — heavy, stagnant, familiar but draining. And then suddenly, that conversation lit up another path.

It wasn’t clear or easy, but it felt alive.

The new road was confusing at first, full of small obstacles and adjustments. I had to learn to navigate, to create myself anew, until it began to feel natural again.

That’s when I realized I needed a way to see the full picture clearly — to see where I was stuck and where to begin.

And that’s how transformation often begins — not with a grand plan, but with a single spark that shows you there’s another way forward.

The Shift

That spark led me to start exploring — downloading apps, testing strategies, tracking, and learning to listen to my body.

But the truth was, before I could really commit, I needed clarity. There were so many things I wanted to improve, and I was overwhelmed. I kept avoiding what I needed to focus on by putting my energy elsewhere, into work and projects.

So I took a step back and completed an exercise called The Wheel of Life. It helps you reflect on the different areas of your life to see where your energy is most needed.

I realized I needed a clearer, deeper version of this tool — one that would actually help me focus, not just make me more aware of how much there was to change.

As a former university instructor and dean, I wasn’t satisfied with what I found online. So, naturally, I created my own version — one that offered more structure and reflection. Maybe it was just me procrastinating, avoiding the work I knew I had to do — but building it myself gave me the guidance and sense of direction I’d been missing.

That moment of clarity changed everything.

At first, it felt overwhelming — seeing everything laid out like that. It almost made me feel worse, like I had to fix everything. But that’s not the point.

The point is to see clearly what needs your attention first. Once you focus there, the rest starts to shift, too.

Why Tools Like This Work

When we’re overwhelmed, our attention scatters across too many competing priorities — a state known as diffused focus.

Tools like The Wheel of Life help anchor our energy. They bridge the intuitive and analytical mind, giving shape to what otherwise feels like chaos. By seeing every area visually, we begin to identify the one that’s most out of balance — and that creates a sense of relief. We finally know where to start. And when we give consistent attention to one area, progress there naturally spills into others.

I’d known about this tool for a while and searched for an online version that went deeper. When I couldn’t find one, I built my own — with more structure and reflection. It gave me what I’d been missing: clarity and direction.

Because sometimes we don’t need more motivation — we just need a clear mirror to see where to begin.

It might feel messy at first, but its purpose is to simplify — to help us stop scattering our energy and focus on what truly matters right now.

The Sky Is Just the Beginning

We are always growing, learning, evolving — whether we’re aware of it or not.

As the saying goes, where we place our attention, our energy flows.

Change can be messy and confusing, but it’s sacred, too. Every ending holds the seed of renewal.

If you’re in the middle of your own chaos right now, you’re not lost — you’re transforming.

And if you’d like to find your own area of focus, you can download my Expanded Wheel of Life — a reflection tool that helps you see exactly where to begin and what needs your energy most — for free [here →].

Because when we choose what matters for the right reasons — with clear intention and an open heart — the sky is just the beginning, not the limit.

---

Thank you for being here 🖤

If this resonated and you’d like me to share more about my journey, let me know in the comments — I’d love to write a follow-up that answers your questions.

You’re welcome to follow along on Medium —and if you’d like to receive mindful tools, stories, and free resources directly in your inbox, you can subscribe here.

✶ Found value in this piece? A clap (or 50!) helps it reach more readers.
✶ Want to support my work? You can do so on Ko-fi if you feel called.