The inner shift that changes results — without changing who you are

I must say, I have been in somewhat of a slump — trying to understand whether it’s depression, or if something needs to change.

I move the furniture around. Doom scroll on a quest for “inspiration.” Search online for some essential tools I need to purchase — whether that’s a few new journals, some pens, or the obvious course I need to take that will finally make me enough.

I get a new haircut and think about what needs to be decluttered to make room for something new. A new page, a new leaf, or maybe a new life.

How I crave a new life. A chance at starting over.

But in reality, every moment is an opportunity to begin anew — to choose again. And by choose again, I mean choose to think and see differently.

On the other hand, we can “start a new life” and get the same results.

We move from one city to the next, an apartment building to a home with a yard — hell, we move to another country on the other side of the world — and still feel that sting. It follows us wherever we go if nothing within us changes.

And I don’t mean change yourself.

I mean, shift slightly, the way we think and see — and the results compound.

Given this realization, I understand: while it’s super healthy to move the chi, clean out the closets, and declutter… the feeling I am experiencing is emotional discomfort. It surfaces from the fact that life is impermanent, uncertain, and that I am a finite human who has yet to discover her immortality.

And to add a harsh sting to this: I’m not going to get any younger… at least not this time around.

So there is tremendous discomfort that comes up, especially when I attempt to do something meaningful — such as write, for example.

And this comes up especially when I’m not writing, since my mind tends to spin and all the limiting beliefs come up and bite me in the ass: you’re not good enough, it’s too late, you don’t have enough time, you are overloaded with responsibilities… and on and on.

It won’t shut the F*** up.

Can you relate? Please tell me you do, so I won’t feel so alone.

Am I the only one with this unworthiness complex? From my current POV, it looks that way.

But I know I am not alone — and that snaps me out of the victimhood. Momentarily, of course. This is not to say that in a day, a week, or if I’m lucky, a month, I won’t be back here.

The key is always awareness. Out of all the skills I have tried over the years, something as simple as awareness is the saving grace.

In our awareness of how we get swept up in thoughts and stories, we find that if we just allow the emotional discomfort to be there — if we face it without coming down on ourselves — it will pass.

But in our deep resistance to discomfort, we avoid the things that matter. We doom scroll, shop impulsively, overeat… fill in your vice of choice.

I have been avoiding the page this past week. I could give a million valid excuses as to why I have not written a single word until now, but it all boils down to resisting the uncomfortable emotions that surface from these limiting beliefs and thoughts — which many times go completely unnoticed.

When I catch myself like this, I return to a practice I try to do daily — a few pages, or even just a few paragraphs, from one of the spiritual books I’m slowly moving through.

This time, I landed on verse 10 of the Tao Te Ching:

“Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things? Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control: this is the supreme virtue.”

Tao Te Ching, A New English Version by Stephen Mitchell

I take this to mean:

Engage in doing without trying to control the results.

Stop using distractions to escape discomfort.

Pause before you doom scroll.

Before you buy the next better thing.

Before you convince yourself you need one more “tool,” one more “course”…

Because if we’re honest, we already know what would actually help.

To sit in the discomfort, to write anyway, to do the thing we’re avoiding.

To nourish your life without demanding repayment.

To lead ourselves — without bullying ourselves.

That is the supreme virtue.

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When your current life doesn’t feel like enough
You might recognize it like this:

• you keep searching for something to fix the feeling
• you feel like you need to become someone else before you can begin
• you’re always preparing, but rarely feel ready
• you don’t trust that what you have—or who you are—is enough to start

Pause.

Take one slow breath.

Ask yourself: what am I avoiding by thinking something else will fix this?

Don’t overthink it.

Then, instead of changing anything, go back to something you’re already working on—or something you’ve been avoiding—and do one small part of it.

Write one sentence. Continue where you left off.

No reset.
No extra steps.
Just continue.

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I’ve been collecting small practices like this. I’ll share them soon. Subscribe here.